Blessings of Disarray times a Zillion
endles stories waiting translation in my being, where to start
words flow, early hours, late hours, seems dark is preferred environment for words to be revealed
I find this most interesting
in recent months, with continuous chaos very much active in my life, I have asked sleep to return me to darkness, not as an escape, well being totally honest here, perhaps it is an escape for a bit, I ask to return to the brilliant space of darkness where stars are bold, always waiting to be seen, feeling their invitation to me, inviting me to remember me, who I am, why I am here now in this absolute chaotic disarray, darkness stars universe asking me to remember home, remember truth of my existence, reminding me I am more than a body, I am exciting, fantabulous, exceptional, I am everything anything all things in any given moment … when I choose to truly REMEMBER ME and what I am … PRICELESS ONE OF A KIND WORTH REMEMBERING
when I was little, second grade, I distinctly remember crying, curled up in a ball, almost like me hugging me, saying out loud, ‘I want to go home’ yet oddly enough, I was in my bed, so I was technically home, so now, I find my desire to reuinite with darkness stars universe most fascinating
perhaps I knew more in second grade than I realized, hint hint nudge nudge, note to self, listen closer to what you hear, pay attention
I have always loved the power of words to heal, even in deep pain, words will heal when given time to feel each one, spoken, unspoken, what is within needs to move through, when we are ready to let the word go, we heal
trauma has had a grip on me, I am finding its hold weakening, triggers still surface, I am better at recognizing these now, I am healing
the words below I wrote this morning, my perspective on this wild road I have been walking, falling, stumbling my way through, and sill, I am moving through my way, best way for me, I am a ‘healing walking sitting standing falling and yes crying being’ in progress
if you are still reading this, thank you, very nice to meet you
I hope you find inspiration on this road that brought you here, I believe being here with me now, whether laughing, crying, saying whatever, to these words, this is not a coincidence, we share steps to hold the hand of another on their walk, planting seeds through moments shared that may lay dormant for a while until one day they are nourished, ready to take root
be well, smile and know, you are far far far from being alone, because you see in the dark of night, universe holds you close in the brilliance of their stars, waiting for you to return to you
………….
my morning monments…
what I have
right here
right now
is space
to
rewrite
my
story
realigning with me
redefining
me
separating
old
and
new
inviting
my next right step
allowing space for it to be
revealed
what I have now
in this ultimate chaos
is me
inviting me
to live
what I love
openly
being a mirror to you
showing
whatever the moment
grace
gratitude
guts
are always present
because
grace
gratitude
guts
is
who
you
are
and
who
I
am
we are here
together
finding
our way home
to
our
truth
this is the healing process
smile … Nancy
